This next tip is something I can totally relate to. After a few years with my foreign partner, I can see how we created our own language and how it keeps evolving over time.
I love the way Gabriela highlights this specificity of multilingual couples:
“You are a cultural entity, you are integrating both languages and both cultures. It means that:
You need to find the way that YOU can communicate effectively.
You will see that your common language evolves as much as your relationship“
Something else to keep in mind when you are mixing up words from different languages is that your brain is WORKING!
A lot of people in a bilingual relationship are struggling because they think they are not fluent enough.
Yet, Gabriela underlines that mixing vocabulary is a richness to be aware of:
Mixing words is a sign of flexibility and intelligence
Creating this new language as a couple means that you can express yourself more accurately
“You need to understand that mixing languages is not a sign that you don’t know enough vocabulary. On the contrary, it shows that you know SO MUCH that you are able to choose the most accurate word. Don’t punish yourself, just reframe the situation.”
The last two tips are related to situations where you have to speak your partner’s language with his/her friends and family.
Like many of you, I have spent a lot of time frustrated because I couldn’t express myself properly in my partner’s language. It makes dinners with friends and family complicated and exhausting.